how-to-move-past-your-money-blocks-interview-with-denise-of-lucky-bitch

Hello everyone!  This week I have a SPECIAL guest interview on the blog —  Denise Duffield-Thomas, my very own money mindset mentor and the creator of Lucky Bitch Bootcamp.

I joined Denise’s community over 2 years ago and it was one of the smartest decisions I made for my business (although I didn’t realize it at the time)!!

In this interview we talk about:

  • why my money blocks ALMOST got in the way of me changing things
  • the steps to take to overcome money blocks
  • how to get back on track with best practices for manifesting and a positive mindset
  • Denise’s FAVORITE mantras for a good mindset
  • how to access Denise’s FREE manifesting video series
  • and so much more!

Click below to listen to the interview or scroll down + read the transcript!!

Helpful Resources

CLICK HERE to sign up for Money Bootcamp with Denise DT 

CLICK HERE to check out my previous interview with Denise where she talks about her “secret” 6 figure income stream!

Transcript of “How To Move Past Your Money Blocks: Interview with Denise Duffield-Thomas”

 

Nicole:  

Hey everyone. It’s Nicole Liloia of nicoleliloia.com and I’m so excited because I have one of my favorite money mindset mentors here, Denise Duffield-Thomas of Lucky Bitch.

 

Denise: Hey.
Nicole: Denise is amazing. I have learned so much from her and I’m really excited to be interviewing her today. I asked a bunch of you for questions and this is what I love about working with Denise and being part of her Lucky Bitch Bootcamp, which I’ve been for I think almost a year a half now, is that you’re so open about everything you do and how you’ve come so far with your money mindset. When it came to a lot of the questions that were coming through I was thinking, “I could just answer this myself,” because you give us the exact steps, and I know people are always like, “I’m a very processed oriented person. I want to know exact steps, then I’ll make it my own but I need to know exactly what people did, what they said, and everything.
Denise: Me too.
Nicole: That’s what I love about you. That’s what you’ve done for us. I really felt like I could answer a lot of their questions already but I’m definitely glad to put it to you because I never know. I shouldn’t try to get in your head too much and we can take it to the next level because I think a lot of us are upleveling, a lot us who have been in your program for a while, we’re really getting to next levels here and it’s a whole new ball game. It’s like doing the same things but tweaking them and I feel like I keep getting stuck a little bit and I know a lot of people are getting stuck. I just want to know how did you … One of the questions actually was how did you learn about money blocks? How did you first get introduced into this?
Denise: In my 20’s I just wanted to be an entrepreneur so bad and I would go to these networking events and it was just all dudes and all guys all wearing suits and I was just so lost in that world and then I discovered a few women entrepreneurs and one of those was Kendall Summerhawk, who is a money marketing and soul mentor, I think she calls herself. She talked about this concept of money blocks and I went, “Oh my god. That’s why I’ve been finding it so hard to make money.” I knew that I was smart. I knew that I was ambitious. I knew that I could follow a system or a process and do it, but there was just something that was holding me back from making any money and Kendall was the first person that I had really realized that she was in that conversation of like, “Hang on, you’ve got some money blocks that you need to work on.”

I started talking about the concept of money blocks to my personal business coaching clients because that was the missing piece for them too and as a coach I was getting frustrated. I’m like why can’t you do these really simple things that you need to do in your business. The results were amazing and that’s when I started teaching group programs and that’s when I created my luck bitch money bootcamp to help women with that money piece, that money mindset piece that’s so missing from success for women.

Nicole: I think what’s interesting is the money blocks could show up in so many different ways. To be honest when I first saw your program I was intrigued by it but I have to say, I didn’t think I had money blocks because I had no debt. I had no credit card debt anyway. I didn’t have any bad debt. My only debt was grad school loans. I was like, “I don’t have money blocks. I don’t have debt.” I only associated it with that at first, having spending problems or something like that, but I think that money blocks show up in so many ways and really my issue was that I was a non-profit social worker so I didn’t believe I’d ever make any good money. That was a money block but I would have never even really realized it if I hadn’t joined the program and worked through some of those things because we put limitations on ourselves in so may ways.
Denise: That’s so true and it’s really interesting hearing that as well, which always go to show you need to really explain to people what you do and how it benefits them. That even new to me, I’m like, “That’s a bigger harsh, you put that sound the sells page.”
Nicole: At first I was like this must be for people who don’t understand money or don’t know how to save money but I think that my money blocks were more about how much I was making, and even now I stretch that and I think … I’d love to know – you have been very open to talking about Lucky Bitch Bootcamp is a million dollar course but I’m sure at first you were just hoping to make it to six figures with that course. How did you get from lower goals to bigger goals?
Denise: Before I did the group program, I was just working 1:1 as a coach. I already hit six figures just by doing 1:1 stuff and the biggest mindset shift to me was I was working really, really hard because I was getting up at 5 o’clock to service my international clients with time zones and then I’d have back to back sessions, no time to pee and working really late at night and so many people who are doing that and burning themselves out and when you think of going, “Oh my god, I’m just scraping by six figures here but I’m dying for it.” I’m looking ahead going, “I’m never going to be able to high a vacation. How is this going to work,” and then you think, “Oh my god, if I want to make a million dollars I’m going to have to work 10 times harder than I am now?” The whole mindset shift that I made in that is was that you can multiple your effort by creating things like group programs, by writing books, by making e-courses, and that’s really the leveraged way to creating more money but I had to give myself permission for it. It was a money block because I was thinking, “It’s cheating. It doesn’t count unless I’m working really hard for it.”

It was really interesting even as I was putting together the money bootcamp I was still working through a lot of my money blocks as well around am I allowed to do this and make money from it? Is this okay? It’s grown from there.

Nicole: Right. I think that is so important because it is, it’s different money blocks and I’m sure even now you’ve found new money blocks as you’ve gotten to new levels?
Denise No, it’s the same money blocks.
Nicole: It’s the same money blocks? Uh oh.
Denise: It’s funny. You think everyone’s got a perception of themselves, “When I’m a wealthy person I’m going to be a different person,” and you’re not. You’re the same person with your same stuff. I’ll give you an example. At the very start of my business I felt guilty making money just from talking to people. I was like, “This is okay? Am I just going to talk to someone and they pay me for it?”
Nicole: Yes I’ve felt that way about coaching sessions.
Denise: Yes. The money block was that you have to work hard to make money. I was feeling weird about it, conflicted about it, but then when I created my first group program as I said five people in my very first group program, I felt the same way. I was like am I cheating here? Am I allowed to make more money working less time? Is that okay, but then when I hit six figures same thing happened. When I hit multiple six figures same thing happened. When I hit a million same thing happened and I would resist delegating. I would still do things like do my business to sabotage myself because this belief that you have to work hard to make money is my personal money block. It follows me. Whatever yours is, and I’m sure you can probably share what one of your money blocks is that will keep on following you. It’s not necessarily that you get new ones I think, you just find new layers to your old ones.
Nicole: Right. How do you, now that you are making this money, and I think that this is a question that came up from somebody and I think this is a good entrance for it because it is about your block.  How do you increase your income while spending time with your family and balancing all that? Does it come down to delegating?

 

Denise: Yes. That’s a simple answer, it comes down to delegating and leverage, creating passive income sources as well. You’re not having to personally make all of the money that you make. I think it is a lot to do with consistency as well. In my business we do very consistent things.
Nicole: You’re not recreating all the time.
Denise: Yep … so we’re not scrambling week to week, things like content and creating blocks and stuff like that, we can batch those now ahead of time. I don’t have as big a team as probably people think that I do. I don’t have any full time staff. I’ve got just contractors and just part time people to help me out. I actually work less than I do when I was making six figures, but that’s a belief. I think that question comes from a belief of, “Having a big business means that I’ll have no times for my kids or no time for my family.” I want people to always take in with themselves around what beliefs you’ve got around making more. What do you think you have to give up in order to have a bigger business and make more money?
Nicole: Right. I think that’s important because I think that it is people get stuck when scaling a little bit because they’re like, “If I hire help then I have to work harder to pay the help, to pay my support staff.”
Denise: Yes, but you can start really small. My assistant’s been with me, Amber, she’s lovely, she’s been with me for I think 3 years or so. She started out at five hours a week and she only really … I think I still made it to a million dollars with her only working 10 hours a week or something. I’ve only just increased her hours now and she works 30 hours a week for me now and that’s only recent that we increased it that much and it more just thinking, “I want to grow bigger next year. She can take some things off my plate,” but people think that you’re going to have to have this horrible big team to manage, it’s going to be very expensive and it really doesn’t have to.

I actually even did a post about what it costs to run a million dollar business and most of those costs are variable costs, they’re not fixed costs. My fixed costs are pretty much the same from when I had a much, much smaller business.

Nicole: For people who are starting out they want to know, “how do you not get discouraged when you don’t see those measurable results right away?”
Denise: Yes, this is key. You have to have one eye on what’s happening now and the actions you need to take to bring in the money now and you have to have one eye on the future to where you’re going. If you’ve got a big vision for your life you have to be in both of those places at the same time. You can’t just live in the future because then you just don’t get anything done. You’re not in your real world and you can’t just be plotting because when you’re in business there’s a lot of crap to do. There’s a lot of crap to get through sometimes and there’s a lot of fears to get through and it can be very easy to be stuck in that space. The way I say it too is being is business at the start is like having an apprenticeship where you cut a very low pay and are overworked but the problem is you don’t know how long that apprenticeship is going to last for and a lot of people give up before their apprenticeship is over and they start to create success.
Nicole: I see that all the time. It’s so sad. How do you continue with the good mindset practices and things like that and the techniques when you really aren’t seeing those results? Is it just a determination like you said the consistency? Doing it anyways.
Denise: Yes. It’s a mindset that you’re going to get through it no matter what and it’s like this is just a test, this is just my apprenticeship. I think things like emotional freedom technique work in every stage of your business to help you get over those blocks and those fears. Especially at the start I think fear is probably one of the biggest things that derails new entrepreneurs because they don’t know how to deal with it, they don’t have a community around them to help them deal with it, they don’t maybe have mentors in their life to help them get over that sort of stuff. It’s very key that you have to keep yourself in a positive mindset as possible and just remind yourself, “I’m just getting through it, getting through it. I can do it. I can get through it and knowing that there’s something better on the other side.

 

Nicole: Right. When you do fall off track with those practices how do you get back to them? Do you create new ones? Is it maybe you’ve outgrown then?
Denise: No. I think those basics work all of the time. Sometimes you just have to get back on the wagon and forgive yourself for any mistakes you’ve because sometimes, new entrepreneurs especially, make a mistake and they let it derail them for such a long time. Sometimes you have to do some self forgiveness, give yourself permission it’s okay to learn from mistakes. This is why I’m so open. I love writing about my mistakes because it makes me feel better about them. That’s a tip by the way, and people love it too. I think the basics work and I think maybe sometimes people think that there’s a magic formula or silver bullet that people know that they don’t and it’s not true. Everyone has to go through the basics.
Nicole: Yes. I do think the magic bullet is doing the work, which no one wants to hear. That’s the magic bullet, it’s doing the work, which nobody wants to hear but it is doing the EFT everyday because that means that you’re addressing it, you’re not just ignoring. You’re addressing the block or the fear or the anxiety and you’re working your way through it versus sweeping it under the rug for a little bit longer.
Denise: Exactly.
Nicole: How do you recommend setting sustainable and measurable goals? Should they be measurable or sustainable? What does that even mean or is that a block too if you’re limiting yourself?
Denise: I see a huge block for goals for women and I think people fall into into two cams. One, we’ve got the people who set massive, massive big goals straight out the gate and they’ve never even gotten a client or they’ve never made any money in their life. A million dollars on nothing and you’re like, “Okay, cool. I love people that have big goals but what’s your next weekly goal. You’re not going to make a million dollars in the next week. Let’s set an interim goal between zero and million.” That’s one kip, the other kip of people who have this belief that if they set goals it’s going to block them. We probably see this in the bootcamp a lot as well.
Nicole: I think that’s my camp.
Denise: Oh, okay. Cool. I think you’ve probably seen this in the bootcamp as well were we talk about tracking your money and setting goals and people go, “Guys, I’ve been tracking my money and I set a goal and everything’s gone to crap. I’m going to go straight back to where I was before where I was no goals, no expectations. I don’t want to know what’s going in,” and I think that’s not a reality, that’s just a belief. That’s a belief that if I set goals they won’t come true, and you know where I think that came from for all of us?
Nicole: Where? Tell me I need to solve this.
Denise This is really bizarre, right? You know when you’re a kid and you have a birthday party, you blow out your candles and what do your parents tell you?
Nicole: Make a wish but don’t tell anybody about it.
Denise: Because why?

 

Nicole: It won’t come true.
Denise: I’m not saying that’s the thing but isn’t it interesting that it’s so ingrained in us to not tell people our goals because it won’t come true and we know from goal setting, law of attraction, personal development, there’s so much power in speaking out loud what you want and words have power. When you take that power away from yourself then it can be really difficult to create your goals because you’re not even allowing yourself to speak them out loud. I think there is a third way around goals and that’s just setting goals that resonate with you, that feel really good for you, goals that you can speak out loud and give power to and without having those extremes of not having any goals or million dollars or bust.
Nicole: Now as you’re saying that, I’m just thinking the other thing too is that people feel a lot of shame if they don’t reach their goals. We feel like there’s also that piece where they want to keep it themselves, they don’t want to talk about it. I think because also because we’re a very instantaneous society we want our gratification now, short term gratification, and it’s like there is that piece of reworking things and trying again a different way and I think that we get stuck in that where it doesn’t work the first time so we’re like, “Done, failed,” instead of looking at it and trying a different way.
Denise: Absolutely. It’s okay if you’ve had a goal that hasn’t come true. It doesn’t mean that the universe doesn’t like you. Sometimes, and this is a good segue actually, I know you’re going to put a link to my manifesting course, I find people try just manifest by sure will. They’re like, “I’m just going to do it,” and there is a process of manifesting stuff and step number two is about really defining what it is that you want, and it sounds easy but I think a lot of us … It’s an unused muscle, knowing what we want and really articulating what it is that we really want and especially for women, we’re not used to being able to do that. This is a perfect example.

My mother in law was visiting and I would say to her, “Would you like a cup of tea,” and she’d go, “I don’t know. Whatever you think. If you’re going to make one. If it’s not too much trouble,” and I’m like, “It’s a freaking cup of tea. It’s not a deal big,” but it just shows that for some women they’re not used to even being able to have any choice and it feels like sometimes we say to the universe, “Whatever you want to send me is fine. Whatever, if it’s not too much trouble.” We’re not used to really just saying,” actually, I’d like it like this, like this, like this, and yes, cool by this time.”

Nicole Right. Being really clear and specific and I think in terms of that sustainable and measurable piece really looking at it like what do you need to sustain the lifestyle you want because I think the other piece is people don’t know the numbers.
Denise: Exactly. I was just making a note because I was like, “I have to write an article about 3 types of goal setters,” Thank you, before I forget it. You’re right. It’s all about being specific and measurable.
Nicole: I see that a lot too where it’s like you want this number and even for me I’m a few dollars short of my income goal this year and we have three months left so now I’m like what do I do? Do I just take off the rest of the year. No, not really because that’s not good for me because I could lost momentum, but it’s like now what? How do I go bigger? Is it now that then this becomes a struggle, sustaining this or do I reach for more?
Denise: That’s a great one. Again, there’s a mindset blocking there, right? That this was a fluke, I can’t sustain this, I’m never going to do this again. Maybe I cheated my way into this one. I totally get that one. That’s a really key one. It’s always the mindset. Always go back to, “What am I making this mean,” and yes, you can set another goal if you want. Sometimes people do it because it’s like that’s never enough so I have to get better and better and better. What I would suggest is that when you hit your goal for the year celebrate, anchor it in. Take a week off. Give yourself some rewards for hitting that because that’s a big thing too. We just go, “Done, next.”
Nicole: I know.
Denise: Yes, right? You’ve got to anchor it in and then for the next couple of months of the year why don’t you just set a fun goal. You can go, “Wouldn’t it be fun if we could X on top,” and set a good reward for that one too.
Nicole: It’s definitely good to just keep … I think that’s so important is we take it so seriously, and I get it, it’s serious. Money is serious. We do have expenses, etc., but I think there does have to be some play into as business owners because otherwise it just feels like such a struggle all the time. I always hear my clients say that, “I need to take this,” and it’s like, “Okay, let’s change the need,” because right away I think when you have that need it gives you that desperate energy.
Denise: Yes, it does and it’s..
Nicole: It puts that pressure on us.
Denise: It does, it puts a huge amount of pressure. I think what you said a couple minutes ago of knowing what you need to make is really key because and I’ll give you a really practical example. We see this in the bootcamp a lot where people go, “Guys, I want to buy this house, this dream house that just came up,” and they’re like, “But it costs X,” and you go, “It doesn’t actually because you’re not paying that full amount. You’re paying a percentage of that amount and the rest of it’s mortgage. Why don’t you go to find out from a mortgage broker how much you need to buy that house,” but then they’re like, “I can’t go see a mortgage broker,” and it’s like, “No, you got to act as if. You’ve got to get into that practical sense of how much is it actually going to cost you because it’s not going to cost you the full amount to buy the house. You’re beating yourself up that you can’t get this full amount,” which who buys a house in full in cash? Not that many people, right?
It just shows how we internalize things all the time and make it like, “I’m not good enough. I can’t do it. That’s not for me.” Whereas in reality we just haven’t gotten organized and practical of what it’s actually going to take.
Nicole: What are your go to practices when you’re setting a new goal for yourself? Even for this new launch of Lucky Bitch Bootcamp. I’m sure you have a goal in mind of how many people you want to see in or how much money. What’s your practice? What do you put in place? Are you tapping on it everyday?
Denise: That’s a great question. A goal for this launch is 1,000 new members into the bootcamp and it’s funny, we’ve got this big chart and it’s got a 1,000 little squares in it and we’re coloring it in each time.
Nicole: I do that too. Every month I set my new goal, whether it’s a number of clients or dollars in it alternates depending that month what I feel like focusing on and I just cross it off.
Denise: We’re doing that. We’re doing tapping. When I say we, this is me and my husband because my husband’s helping with this launch. We’re doing tapping at night before we go to bed. We talk about what that money is going to help us achieve. This is a cool one. I was driving into town yesterday and I was listening to the radio and I thought, “Let’s turn it off,” and I started doing an interview as if someone was interviewing me saying, “How did your launch go?” This is a technique that I did a couple of years ago. I used to be driving my crappy car up and down the freeway to see my mom and I would do an interview as if Oprah was interviewing me and this is when I was very, very sunny at my business, I barely earned anything, and it’d be like, “Denise, how does it feel to be making six figures.” I do the same thing now. It’s like, “Denise, how was it like having a million dollar launch?” “It was great.” It was all of those things that add up into your belief that make it fee like it’s possible for you.

I do the same stuff as I teach in my manifesting course. I do the same stuff as I teach in the bootcamp. I always go back to basics.

Nicole: Visualization, EFT. It does sound like not just visualization of the goal, but just visual reminders of the goal, which I know I am a very visual person. Seeing the numbers, seeing it decreasing, get smaller, that’s very helpful for me.
Denise: Exactly. It could be that you set up a dashboard. I use Infusionsoft and you can set up a dashboard for sales. It could be that you have a spreadsheet and you update it. I update my income spreadsheet multiple times a day if not just once a day. It’s things like that. The numbers might be different to when I started out but really I do the exact same techniques that got me here.
Nicole: Stick with what works.
Denise: Stick with what works.
Nicole: That’s the thing, people fall off track but it’s like go back to what works. You don’t have to recreate it. If that was working for you just start doing it again.
Denise: Exactly and stop thinking that people have a magic formula as what I said before. Where you think, “Rich people must know something that I don’t.” It’s like, “No, they really don’t,” and I know that now and I see it. I’m like it’s pretty much the same, just a couple extra zeros.
Nicole: Right. Somebody wanted to know, what are your best mantras and affirmations?
Denise: I have several that I love to use. One is I serve, I deserve. Yes, because that really shows that you have to give and receive. You show up, you serve people, you deserve to get paid in return. You deserve to have good things happen to you in return. That’s a good one. It’s my time and I’m ready for the next step and I say that one all the time and I always have from the very start of my business and today’s my lucky day is another one to remind yourself don’t delay and don’t procrastinate taking action. You have to do it now, today. Let me think of another one that I use. I think that pretty much … My face is my fortune. That’s another one that I do a lot too. Whenever I’m feeling blocked or I’m invisible I think, “I don’t want to do a Facebook like,” or, “I don’t want to post on social media,” and then I remind myself my no, my face is my fortune. You have to show up and be visible.
Nicole: It’s so true. Being visible for you has definitely helped a lot like you said. You know what works for you in now at this point in time and I think that sometimes does … That’s where people sabotage it. It’s like they think it’s going to stop working for them so let me try something else before it stops working or before it plateau’s and they forget to do what has been working all along or has brought you to this point so far.
Denise: Yes, exactly.
Nicole: I think that’s important. What’s your best tip for someone who’s really just starting out and noticing the blocks? Like I said, I didn’t think I had blocks.
Denise: The thing is awareness is going to be really the first thing to do. Even just being in that conversation of like, “I wonder if I do have money blocks.” That’s a really great place to start and to go, “If I did what would they be.” I think that’s a really cool thing too but if this is something that’s really blocking you right now and you know that you have maybe some unhealthy relationships with money or you know that you could earning more, you’ve hit a plateau, then to do something about it would be to read my book, listen to one of my free courses and potentially join the lucky bitch money bootcamp to not have to do it yourself, to be in community with other women and to take those tools to go really deeper into finding out what those money blocks are, particularly your particular money block. As I said, I’ve got mine which is working hard to make money and you’ve got to find out what yours is as well.

There’s a cool thing when someone says, “You’re just beginning,” there are people at all stages of money who are in this conversation as well around money blocks. Don’t think it’s just a beginner’s problems, it really doesn’t matter how much money you’re making you can still have money blocks.

Nicole I think it is, it’s more about that beginning awareness of, “Something’s up here. I didn’t realize this was a pattern or belief that could be changed. I thought it was situational,” or, “I thought it was blaming family stuff,” but I think we all have the power to really put in place the techniques that you’ve really talked about to really change things up and pastor these blocks or continue to just be able to keep pushing them, pushing the boundaries.
Denise: Exactly. I know that you’ve got some links of my stuff as well that you can … Do you want to tell people about where they can go for some more info?
Nicole:
Nicole: Tell me something different, maybe she’ll have a different answer, but that’s the truth is you are consistent with these practices. They’ve helped so many of us in the bootcamp take our business, take our lives to the next level and it’s going to be, I think, so rewarding for people who are joining now to be able to participate live and have you talking to us, answering questions, being in the group on Facebook lives and things like that, and anybody who wants to sign up and join us for that, which is starting in November, they can go to nicoleliloia.com/bootcamp, and that’s going to be such a great experience.
Nicole: I’ll put those in below but absolutely it’s definitely easy to get to and I think going through the little video series, it’s just going to be a great start for people but the reality is the bootcamp does do the deep dive into everything and that’s something that … Like I keep saying, this is something you have to do at every level. This isn’t a one time course. That’s what so awesome about getting in on this course is it’s something you’re going to reuse. I’m on end of year, I’ve reached my goals. Now I can feel like some blocks are coming on. Keep yourself playing small. Now I have to definitely stretch too and go back for the work. It’s perfect timing for me to go through it live for sure.
Denise: Perfect. It’s funny, it always comes up at perfect times for me as well. I’ve got big goals that I want to hit too. It’s like, “I’m excited to go through it as well and go through the material,” which I think will be really fun. Just to wrap up, I’d just love to say if anyone’s wanting to join again, now is the perfect to jump on and join up. We’re an amazing, beautiful, supportive community and it really is that chance to deep dive into your money blogs.
Nicole: Yes. I will have the link below and it’s nicoleliloia.com/bootcamp. Go check it out, and everybody get in and join us because it’s going to be really … It’s so much more powerful when you’re going through it with other people.
Denise: Exactly. Cool. Thank you
Nicole: I always try to go through it with one friend. Going through it with thousands is going to be, I think, so much more powerful!
Denise: 3,000 people are already in there as well. Anyone who’s been in the bootcamp for awhile, everyone gets to join on stuff too. The momentum is going to be really amazing.
Nicole: Awesome. Thank so much for being here today and helping everybody just break through these things. I appreciate it.
Denise: Thanks for having and I’ll see you in the bootcamp group as always.
Nicole: Sounds good. Bye!
Denise: Bye.

Helpful Resources

CLICK HERE to sign up for Lucky Bitch Bootcamp 

CLICK HERE to check out my previous interview with Denise where she talks about her “secret” 6 figure income stream! 

Disclaimer – I’m a proud affiliate of Denise’s. If you decide to purchase any of the Lucky Bitch products and programs, I may receive a commission.

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