Hi. My name is Jenn and I’m a (former) Stress Addict.
Tell me what a day in your life was like when you were a stress addict. How did you spend your time?
My days as a former stress addict were similar to a roller coaster ride. If things were calm and on the low bend, I would totally make something up in my head to heighten the drama again. It was like I craved the stress, anxiety and drama. I needed it in order for my life to be “exciting.” The funny thing is I didn’t think I was stressed. I was actually trying to control every single situation I could, and even the ones that I couldn’t. I would spend hours and hours scrolling through Facebook looking for things to worry about (I had no idea what!). Some nights I couldn’t even sleep and I would wake up dreading the day ahead.
What were the biggest causes of stress in your life during that time?
The biggest causes of my stress at that time were not being completely happy with my relationships and constantly struggling with finding myself and figuring out who I really was. I was also super stressed out about finances and would check my bank account constantly (like things were going to magically change).
Was there a specific turning point for you when you realized things needed to change? Was there a moment where you felt like you hit rock-bottom?
There wasn’t a specific thing and I was fortunate enough to not have to hit complete rock bottom before realizing that I needed to make changes. I just woke up and realized I didn’t want to feel like sh*t every single day anymore. I wanted to live my life. I wanted to be free, happy and surrounded by love. I started to feel “old” and tired. I was always giving my friends advice on their lives, their careers and their relationships. A light bulb went off when I realized that I had more life to live than I had lived so far. I was ready to own it and stop feeling sorry for myself.
What’s a day in your life like now that you’re a (former) stress addict?
I wake up energized and ready to live life every day. I’ve incorporated daily practices like gratitude, exercise and meditation into my days. I get to talk to amazing people every day and I am so much more alive now that I live my truth. I don’t even have time to stress out, even if I wanted to. Of course, little things come up here and there, but I have mastered being able to feel the feeling and release it. I realized that I can’t change certain things so it’s completely useless to stress and worry about those things. I am more confident in taking the steps to make shifts for those things that I actually can change.
What’s the one thing you changed that had the greatest impact?
Surrounding myself with loving, ambitious, awesome people every day has made an amazing impact on my mood. When I deleted toxic people from my life, I was able to see my worth. I was able to see that there are a lot of really good and amazing people out there that are willing to support me and love me for who I am.
What is your secret to keeping toxic situations and people out of your life?
Own your worth. Know who you are, what you want and the person you want to be. Once you step into your truth and begin living authentically, you will attract people, places and things that are in line with that.
Jenn Scalia is a life and love coach at www.beawesomeonpurpose.com that works with women who are down on love after a breakup or a toxic relationship. She is also the host of 15 Minutes of Flame – a podcast that features conversations with real women about love, life, relationships, dating and everything in between.
Great questions, Nicole, and what really nailed it for me is the ‘craving’ of stress…or the side effects of it. The drama, the excitement, the getting into everyone’s business, like an adrenaline rush. For some, I guess it’s a feeling of a lack of control, so they try to control everything. This doesn’t describe me, but people I know, and they’re not happy if they’re not ‘stressing’ about something. I find it exhausting and feel I lack the tools to support that person, so I avoid the engagement. It’s a cycle I don’t want to be a part of. So glad to see that Jenn was able to find her way out of that cycle. Thanks for this!
Great post Nicole.
I have known people who were stress addicts. I even worked for one. If there wasn’t a crisis, she created one. When I was working with her, she would stress me (and the whole office) out. Then the cycle would keep going as we responded to her stress and anxiety. Slowly, we all learned different tactics for handling it, each of us using our strengths to keep the stress of everyone down, while minimizing her stress. It isn’t easy.
I love hearing Jenn’s story and how she was able to find her path out of that cycle for herself.
Interesting isn’t it that the one biggest thing that had impact was the people you surrounded yourself? They say we are the average of the 5 people we spend the most time with. I also bet that you did alot of personal work before starting to surround yourself with these loving, ambitious, awesome people. Sounds like they were also bettered by you being one of the people they surrounded themselves by. 🙂
Eye opening story about what stress, drama and anxiety can do to keep us small. Thank you for sharing!
I absolutely love this! I went through this same process myself. I still have many friends that are addicted and even family members. I am bookmarking this!
Oh wow! I didn’t know anyone else scrolled through Facebook looking for something to worry about.
This is so spot on with how I felt before finding out I have Anxiety. When you recognize it and deal with it the revelation sets you free.
Yes we can really get caught up in what others are doing social media and it’s so important to be aware of how often we look for things to worry about! Please let me know if you have any questions about stressing less!